Crashing Down
by prin69
Summary: She loved him in a way she never loved any other. And he? He just threw her away. AbbyxGibbs
1. Abby

**Disclaimer: Only own the plot.  
Pairing: Um, post-Gabby, I suppose.**

**And I threw Tony in because I see this as a post Kate and I think that Tony and Abby are close friends.  
Written after reading the lyrics to crashing down by Sugarcult.**

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Abby was six hours late for work, and the messages were piling up.

She almost expected them to come knocking on her door. But Gibbs wouldn't let them of course.

She was strong, but could only be strong for so long. So why wouldn't she snap then he broke her?

Four months.

Four months were all it had taken to build her up and tear her down. She new the rules. She knew romances at work never, well, worked. But she hoped. She hoped beyond any hope she ever had before that they would work. That her black hair would break his redhead curse. But it didn't.

He left her.

And she was alone.

And that's all that mattered.

He hasn't called. Even Palmer left a message, but he hasn't. She set her machine to instant voicemail, having it play aloud with the volume up all the way so she could hear it in every room. But she hasn't heard the voice that she wants. She hasn't heard the words that she wants.

She feels her breath hitch now.

Too much blood on the floor. She was hoping to last a bit longer. Feeling vindictive and wanting him to see her at her dying breath. To see what he did to her. To see how he broke her. Made her whole world come crashing down.

She knew she couldn't face him after. Not when she loves him and he gave up on her. He promised to always be there, but where was he now? At work, without her.

She slumped further onto the floor, taking a last look at her arm. Her last work, her last piece of art. Her last bit of rage at him forsaking her.

She loves him.

She tries to clear the fog in her mind, tries to remember when she first loved him. She can't remember. Can only remember how quickly the realization came to her at work one day that she did love him. Had for so long, just never realized it.

She thought he loved her too. He didn't. Maybe he even thought he did. But he left her in the end. It was funny. She was used to doing the leaving. But in way, she guessed she was.

She smiled.

There was knocking at the door.

In her final moment she hoped with love that it wasn't Tony, and with an equal hurt that it was Gibbs, who would look down on her broken form.


	2. Gibbs

**XxXxXxXxXx**

He stood alone at her grave.

The others already left.

They didn't understand why she did it. And if he had the strength to lie himself, then he could say he didn't know why she did it either.

It was a sunny day. No clouds. No matter where he looked the rays of the sun blinded him. He couldn't help but think that when she died her soul went into the sun. Her arms are the rays reaching down to him.

To burn.

To caress him.

To blame him.

To love him.

He stops his thoughts there. He blames himself enough as it is.

If he knew, he never would have left. He never would have let her be alone.

He was afraid. Afraid that they could make it work. Afraid that they were going to last. Afraid that there was a perfect one for him, and she was it, but he would mess it up and make her hate him somehow.

Though he would never admit it to anyone but his own mind.

He did love her.

He still loves her.

He didn't cry at the funeral. No one expected him too, so it didn't matter. Her family was there. The team sat in the front with him. Family friends behind them. He stood in the back, near a tree. He didn't deserve to sit by her grave during the service. It felt wrong somehow. Because he knew he was the reason.

Maybe, he reasoned when he fought to get sleep at night, maybe it wasn't all him. He just pushed her over, sent her crashing in an already downward spiral. It didn't help much, but it still helped.

He fell then. He fell onto the freshly spilled dirt. His knees sunk slightly into the ground and his arms held onto the tombstone to support his weight.

He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't understand the way he way feeling. Nothing made sense anymore.

She never made anything make sense. From the moment she bounced into his life, everything was different. And now? Now it was trying to change back.

But he didn't want to go back.

He wanted her back.

But he left her.

He. Left. Her.

He had to tell himself. It was his choice. This is his fault.

He loves her.

He never told her. He thought his actions were good enough. And maybe they were. Maybe she knew. Maybe that's why it hurt so much when he left her. But he left is heart with her. Even now, his heart is in her beautiful hands.

His struggles to breathe, as he realizes the tears have finally come. Abby is gone. He did this to her by pushing her away.

And now all he has is regret.


End file.
